Till We Are Home

Where has life taken you? What are the watershed moments of your life that seem to have defined the path you currently walk on? How do you feel as a result of those moments that led you to this point? Are there any changes you need to make as a result?

Life can be filled with some pretty great moments. Getting into the college you hoped for, landing the job in a field you worked hard to get into, finding a beloved spouse to spend your days with, the birth of children, seeing fruit in your ministry, and many others.

But, life can be filled with some very challenging moments as well…pretty much the opposite of all the above would be enough to bring us low.

I just finished reading Through Gates of Splendor by Elisabeth Elliott for the “who knows how many’ith” time. I’m always so encouraged by this story and the faith these families had in their Lord. As I finished the book last night, one quote from Barbara Youderian brought conviction to me. 

Soon after their husbands were killed by the Waorani tribe they were trying to bring the gospel to, all five wives sat down with a friend who led the expedition to find the bodies of the men. He explained to them where they were and how they found them (upon the prompting of all the wives to hear this). That night, Barbara wrote in her diary of how she praised the Lord that her husband, Roger, was made worthy of his homecoming, how she would need to be both mother and father to their children, and of her complete trust in the Lord.

Then, she wrote the following, “I wrote a letter to the mission family, trying to explain the peace I have. I want to be free of self-pity. It is a tool of Satan to rot away a life. I am sure that this is the perfect will of God.” (Through Gates of Splendor, p 231, emphasis mine). 

I’ve loved, and I’ve lost. There’ve been good days and hard days. I’m sure you have, too. But, do you hear the words of this young wife who just lost her husband in such a brutal way? Her whole life was ahead of her. I’m sure she and Roger spent days dreaming of a long life together.

However, their eyes were not fixed on this world…their eyes were fixed on Christ.

That must be the key to her reaction. I’m sure she grieved her husband, but she also approached her life with open hands unto the Lord. “Do as You desire.” And because she trusted in the Lord (even when she lost someone so precious to her, she still said that was the perfect will of God!!), her attitude was one of faith and trust in Him. Thus, she could say she wanted to be free of self-pity. 

She would not wallow in the sadness. She would not point to her difficult circumstances to gain pity from others. She instead stood on the promises of the Lord that He is near to the brokenhearted (Ps 34:18) and that His will in directing the events of her life is perfect and good (Rom 12:2). 

This young lady (who just went home to be with the Lord last year) has given me a gift. She’s encouraged me to stop looking downward at the experiences of my life, but to lift my eyes to the hills for from there my help comes from the Lord (Ps 121). The temptation I face (and I would assume others do as well) is to look at what’s happened or happening to me and allow that to inform my attitude, my identity, my hope, my direction. I’m tempted to allow the experience of losing my daughter to keep me trapped in overwhelming sadness. By doing so, I’m tempted to allow that sadness to say I don’t belong with others whose lives seem happy, carefree, and unbroken like mine.

Barbara would counsel otherwise. And she pulls this from her trust and faith in the Lord and His Word. 

Instead of allowing the hard providences of our life to dictate an unhealthy, even sinful response, may we instead remember that God’s love for His children will always govern how He orchestrates our lives. 

His desire is to conform us to the image of His Son (Rom 8:29), not to find our identity in the world. 

His desire is to give us the Kingdom (Lk 12:32), not the riches of this world. 

His desire is to give us Himself (Isa 43:2, Gal 2:20), not more of us. 

And, in doing so, there may be times or seasons we find that our circumstances are pruning us from this world and ourselves. And, that…that’s ok. Why? Because we can trust God knows more of what we need than we do…we can trust in His perfect will. So, then, we can move forward, trusting Him to make straight our paths and follow His lead to a renewed and redeemed life (Prov 3:5-6).

Prior to the passage above from Barbara Youderian’s diary, she wrote the following, “God gave me this verse two days ago, Psalm 48:14, ‘For this God is our God for ever and ever; He will be our Guide even unto death.’”

May we join with Barbara in trusting the Lord, even through horrible days. May we not wallow in self-pity and allow the devil a foothold in how we respond to the God-ordained ups and downs of life. May we see and shout with exultant joy that, “God is our God for ever and ever; He will be our Guide even unto death.”

Till we are home…