Till We Are Home

A couple of years ago, our pastor preached through the book of 1 Samuel. Among several “take-homes” from that series, one point stood out in particular related to David and Jonathan. A lot of us recognize David’s and Jonathan’s relationship as one of the best biblical examples of friendship in the Bible. Reading from 1 Samuel, we see even the lengths their friendship would go such as Jonathan supporting David no matter what, even against his own father. 

From 1 Samuel 23:15-18:

“David saw that Saul had come out to seek his life. David was in the wilderness of Ziph at Horesh. And Jonathan, Saul’s son, rose and went to David at Horesh, and strengthened his hand in God. And he said to him, “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you. Saul my father also knows this.” And the two of them made a covenant before the Lord. David remained at Horesh, and Jonathan went home.”

Jonathan tells David that even though his own father wanted to find David (and destroy him), Jonathan would play no part in selling him out. He would not support his father in this search for David.

Further, in royal families, typically the firstborn will ascend the throne after the reigning parent dies. Thus, it could have been expected on Jonathan’s part to be the heir to the throne of Israel after his father Saul. However, Jonathan’s eyes were not fixed upon the throne in Israel but upon the throne in heaven. Instead of lusting after power and might, Jonathan said his place as prince of Israel was at David’s side knowing it was the will of the Lord to make David king. 

Jonathan forsook family relations, even a role that could be rightfully argued as his, to support and strengthen his friendship with David. And even if it would cost Jonathan his life – I doubt Saul would be too happy knowing his own son was helping David again (see 1 Sam 20) – Jonathan went to help and bless David in the middle of very difficult times of his life.  

Men, how good are you at supporting your fellow brothers in their lives? It can be tricky stepping into another brother’s life and entering into their hardship, sadness, or sorrow. We usually are not the most emotional creatures, so whether we are either trying to be there for one another or to receive that care, it can be awkward.

However, I hope to encourage us all to find a way to support our brothers going through hard times. Jonathan was there for David when his father chased him into hiding. David feared for his life, left his home, and suffered through some trying circumstances. Yet, Jonathan entered into all of that to care for and support his friend.

Do you find it hard to care for a brother when he experiences a hardship? That’s ok…to a degree, we all do. I’ve watched my wife cared for in the past (seemingly) easily by her sisters in Christ around her. She received so many texts, calls, cards, gifts, and ladies stopping by to check on her over the years from lots of different women. It seems easy for women to provide care for fellow sisters enduring heartache. For men, it usually is not as easy, it seems.

First, the guy has to be willing to accept a certain level of care. If he doesn’t feel comfortable with all the emotional, gushy stuff, that is ok. We are all different and comfortable with different levels of that “emotional stuff”. So, tailor your care to his comfort level. 

Second, you should be willing to do something. Acknowledging someone else’s pain goes a very long way. Be willing, if he’s willing to accept it, to write a card or letter to him, support him financially if there’s a need, take care of some chores around the house to unburden his workload, even give him some sort of gift to acknowledge whatever difficulty may be going on. You don’t have to bring him a bouquet of flowers…maybe instead give him a bouquet of ammo. Get creative!

Call, text, drop by, take him to lunch, bring a coffee to share with him on the front porch, or at least just ask him how he’s doing the next time you see him, all dependent on the level of care that brother is willing and wanting to accept. At the very least, pray for him and tell him you’re praying for him. I think you can discern what may be best considering the brother in question, but also don’t chicken out and say, “well, he probably doesn’t want to hear from me.” He does!!

Also, don’t just stop short term. Depending on the situation he faced, remember his pain long term, too. Remembering anniversaries and other important days is another way to show your brother that you care for him and probably are praying for him. Just because time has lengthened since he experienced “X”, doesn’t mean he still doesn’t deal with heartache over the years. Keep checking in on him, keep doing all the things I mentioned above, keep being that Jonathan to him over weeks, months, and even years. 

When a guy experiences a hard providence and has a Jonathan (or, better yet, a few) jumping into the sorrow alongside him, there’s a lightening of his load as the truth of Galatians 6:2 takes hold that we bear one another’s burdens. These hard providences are hard enough, but sorrow upon sorrow hits when you feel forgotten by your brothers. I get it, we all do…it’s hard to enter into another man’s hardship. But, get over yourself and be the Jonathan your brother needs. Find ways to encourage him, bless him, bear a burden. 

Life is a vapor, as James says. Jonathan’s life was cut short (so to speak), and at least with respect to David, I would venture to guess he did all he could to let David know that he cared for him, supported him, and loved him. The days ahead will provide opportunities for you to enter into your fellow brothers’ sorrows…be the Jonathan they need, that you can look back on your life and be satisfied that fear did not impede you at least with respect to your friendships. Find ways to bless your brothers and help them through their difficult days…

Till we are home…