Till We Are Home

The Advent season is in full force now; only a few days left until Christmas. As we think on the great gift that Christ is for us all, our minds can wander toward gift giving. Shortly after we lost Izzy, a brother in Christ gave me one of the greatest gifts.

Parents have the high privilege of raising children in the fear and admonition of the Lord (Eph 6:4). One of the blessings we enjoy as parents is the honor of praying for our children. We are blessed to intercede on their behalf to the Lord each and every day, sometimes at several points throughout a day depending on the season and need. We even see Job interceding for his children, “just in case” (Job 1:4-5). 

Since the day we found out that my wife was pregnant with each of our three, I began interceding for them in prayer. From the time of the womb to this day, I prayed a handful of things consistently (e.g. that they may know and love Christ all their days, for a godly spouse to be raised up for them, etc.) along with the needs of the day. I simply love praying for my family. 

When Isabel went home to be with the Lord, I remember sitting down shortly after to open my Bible and go through my prayers for the family. I prayed for my wife. I prayed for my son. I prayed for my oldest daughter. Then…I stopped. Devastation hit me when I came to the usual point of praying for Isabel. 

Wait a minute…what do I pray now for her, Lord?

She doesn’t need anything anymore…she’s perfectly happy and content and safe at home with You.

So, I guess I don’t need to pray for her anymore…oh my gosh, I don’t need to pray for her anymore!

The thought of not praying for Isabel anymore crushed me. Absolutely crushed me, and I wept for so long afterwards. I could not believe that this sweet girl I prayed for since she was a tiny little one in her mama’s womb no longer needed me to pray for her. 

On one hand, there is a blessing to that for she is perfectly happy, content, and safe. Praise God for that!

But on the other hand…oh…my daddy’s heart was crushed.

The following Sunday I mentioned this to a dear brother in Christ. I told him how weird this was, how brokenhearted I was to not be able to pray for her like I usually did during my devotions, and wondered what to do going forward. He turned to me and told me that though I don’t need to pray for Isabel anymore, I could turn that time into thanking the Lord for her and all that I experienced with her. 

I broke down.

Grief can play funny tricks on you. Sometimes you just don’t think clearly and realize the obvious. It never occurred to me to simply turn my prayers for Isabel from prayers for her and interceding for her, to praying in simple thanksgiving for her and praying about her. 

Thank You, Lord, that I was and am her daddy. 

Thank You, Lord, for allowing me to spend 14 wonderful years with her.

Thank You, Lord, for the sweet dimple in her cheek.

Thank You, Lord, that she loved You, her mama, brother, and sister, and so many others so well.

And so many more thank You’s.

I don’t think I will run out of things to thank the Lord for my Isabel. I won’t run out of things to thank Him for in how He is redeeming the loss we’ve experienced. I won’t run out of ways to thank Him for His nearness as He has carried this burden for us (Ps 73:28, Php 4:6-7, 1 Pet 5:7). My time to pray about my Isabel did not end with her going home…oh praise the Lord!

What a gift this dear brother gave to me…I’m so thankful he shared this with me. I still ponder at this grace of God even 2 ½ years later. Thankful for the gift the Lord gives us in brothers and sisters in Christ to minister to our hurts. Thankful for the gift the Lord gives us in Himself…which is all and only because the greatest gift the Lord gave was His own Son, our Immanuel!

Today, I’m thankful for the magnificent Gift of Christ. But I’m also grateful that through Christ I can still pray for my wife, my son, my oldest daughter, the church and loved ones…and still spend time praying about my youngest…

Till we are home…