Till We Are Home

Be the Torchbearer

In the book of First John, the apostle spends time impressing upon his readers to love – love God and love others. The Bible calls us to ensure love is primary in so many places, especially famous in the thirteenth chapter of 1 Corinthians which Paul rounds out with the final encouragement, “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (1 Cor 13:13) And, coming back to John, he was given the vision in Revelation and told by Christ Himself in His letters to the seven churches that though the church in Ephesus got all their theology right, the one thing they lacked was love (Rev 2:1-7) which had to be devastating to hear.

Clearly, love for others and a love as Christians for their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ is paramount next to loving the Lord. 

But, do we actually and truly live like this? I think so many of us Christians can mentally assent to this encouragement, this commandment, this truth when we read these passages in our Bibles or hear them preached over us, but do we actually apply this and live it out? And, to take it one step further, do we do so with brothers or sisters who we feel like are struggling in a cycle of some sorts which can feel hopeless to try and keep helping them?

It’s easy to love someone when they are good or when there’s a lot of camaraderie between you and them. Those who don’t typically suffer through heaviness, dark days, or painful seasons in this life can be a bit easier to love because it won’t require much out of you necessarily. The cost to love them isn’t great. 

These relationships can be wonderful and a source of great help and respite…but so can the hard ones. 

When we find ourselves needing help – whether or not we’re the ones who can be found in those cycles of struggle – we need the love of our brothers or sisters to help us along. From 1 John 4:

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. (1 Jn 4:9-12)

First, God sent His own Son into the world and this very act demonstrated a love so great and amazing and true. We can then love others because of His own love for us as demonstrated through Christ…this is essential. From God’s example and His pouring love into us through Christ, we can and ought to love others…for then, and only then, will God’s love abide in us and be perfected in us.

Now, I’m going to go out on a limb here, please hang with me. As an example of this, I’m going to go fanboy on you again. As I mentioned previously, the band, twenty one pilots, recently released their latest album, Breach. When they did so, they also released the music video for “City Walls” which completed the story or the lore they started 10 years ago. 

In this lore, we are introduced to the two main protagonists – Clancy and Torchbearer. As we’ve tracked along over the years and through the albums, Clancy was on a journey, freed from the prison he found himself in and then became a leader against the antagonist, Nico and his band of bishops.

I won’t get into the entire lore, but Torchbearer plays his part in this story by being just as his name suggests…he bears the torch to light the way to help Clancy along. Well, the last album, Clancy, ends with Clancy and Torchbearer leading the good guy Banditos against the bishops and their army of slaves. As the battle ensues, we see Clancy ascend the tower and defeat the bishops until Nico comes out to subdue him. We’re left on a cliffhanger at the end of the album not knowing what will happen next.

Enter Breach.

If you haven’t yet heard or watched the video for “City Walls” and don’t want to read spoilers, then stop here and go and watch the video!

Last warning…

In the music video for “City Walls”, we pick up where the last album left off. Nico and Clancy eventually square off. As they fight, Torchbearer seems to sense his friend is in trouble and so he gathers some of the Banditos to run toward the tower to help. As they ascend the stairs within the tower, Nico and Clancy continue fighting, lots of things are happening in the video that tie in the past 10 years of lore, till eventually we come to a victory.

Clancy defeats Nico at the same time when Torchbearer reaches the room. Nico and all the bishops have been defeated, Clancy remains alive, and it seems like we finally have the turn in our story we’ve all been wanting and waiting for. 

That is, until we learn that Clancy has succumbed to another defeat.

Instead of continuing with Torchbearer and the Banditos, Clancy turns into Nico (a.k.a Blurryface) himself. Clancy converts the Banditos that came with Torchbearer into the new bishops while Torchbearer rejects the invitation and leaves.

All hope seems lost. Clancy is defeated. Torchbearer could not save his friend.

The video continues and at the end we see Torchbearer rolling up a map, re-packing his backpack, and talking with another Bandito. The Bandito asks Torchbearer, “What now?” Without an answer from Torchbearer, the Bandito continues, “I really liked this Clancy.”

“Yeah,” responds Torchbearer. “Me, too.” He continues, “But that’s not Clancy up there anymore. He’s out there somewhere. And we will try again.”

The Bandito asks, “Again?”

“Always,” says Torchbearer, then he walks away.

When I first saw the video, I was super disappointed because I wanted Clancy to win and walk away with Torchbearer in victory. It was an ending I wasn’t expecting, but now that I’ve reflected a bit on it, I’ve come around think it’s a wonderful ending.

Tyler Joseph, the songwriter and lead vocals of the band, has said that he is Clancy; he plays this role in the videos as well. Throughout all of the band’s albums, he’s made it clear about his own struggles with depression, anxiety, fear, and other difficulties. This comes out in the lore and through the story of both Clancy and Blurryface/Nico. 

Considering all of this, though we did not get the hoped for defeat of Nico and victory for Clancy and the gang, we get something much richer. I interpret the ending as Clancy lost the battle against himself…he’s gone back into the cycle of evil within himself. 

You see, not every story goes well. Not every story sees victory in every battle. Not every story ends as well as we’d hope. Sometimes, defeat comes along our path.

However, light can come from unexpected places even in seeming defeat. Remember Torchbearer? Throughout the lore, we, the audience, see Clancy as the main protagonist – we root for him to defeat Nico for he is the chosen one. 

In the end, though, I think the real hero is Torchbearer. In that room, he saw his friend succumb to defeat. He walked out of there without the victory he hoped for going into that battle. His friend was lost, but, as we heard the exchange with the other Bandito, Torchbearer had not given up all hope. 

Hope is not lost in the midst of our defeats.

Torchbearer knew this. He repacked his bag and headed out again to search for Clancy. He would leave there and help Clancy again…he would help his friend always. 

I know, there’s a lot going on here, but I think what Tyler Joseph is putting into this ending is that we don’t always win against some of the demons and challenges we face. Sometimes, we keep succumbing in apparent defeat and re-engage in the struggle. 

When we do…we need a Torchbearer.

We need friends in the fight who won’t give up on us. Though we may walk out of a conversation for the umpteenth time with a friend who keeps battling and battling while losing and losing, we don’t give up hope. We go out to find them again, we bear the torch, and we keep our hope that one day they’ll break the cycle. 

Ultimately, for Christians, we know that even if our life is full of defeats, we will have victory in the end. In Christ, we’ll be resurrected and find respite, peace, and an inheritance that doesn’t perish, fade, or become impure (1 Pet 1:4). This victory comes and also is our current reality. We can’t be defeated completely even in our struggles for Christ Himself bears our sorrows (Isa 53:4).

As Christians, we are the torchbearer. We bear the flame, the light of the gospel that if we have Christ, then we have hope. Even for those who seem to have lost all hope in yet another defeat, we need to keep pursuing them and bringing them the light of the gospel. 

This is the love John spoke of in 1 John 4; a love that springs out of God’s own love for us in Christ who did not give up on us even while we were still enemies of Him (Rom 5:8). If God so pursued us when we were enemies running away from Him, then we should lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters in need (Jn 15:13). This love compels us to keep pursuing them even in the midst of ongoing defeat.

May we love our brothers and sisters in Christ as God so loved us…may we bear the light of the gospel for it is truly our only hope in this life…may we be the Torchbearer…

Till we are home…