Till We Are Home

Dear Izzy,

It’s Saturday. Yesterday was Good Friday, tomorrow is Easter…Resurrection Sunday. Yesterday, we took all of your stuff from your room and moved it into a storage unit. That sounds so ugly…I’m so sorry, darling. It was so hard to do that.

You came into our life so sweet and wonderfully. We made your nursery just for you in the back bedroom of our house in Tennessee. As you grew older, you made it your own room, along with your sister, and always wanted to put your own touches to everything (even in the rooms that weren’t yours). Everywhere we looked, you had drawings, toys, even your name etched in places you probably shouldn’t have. 

This house was no different. Your stuff is everywhere, and we love it so much more nowadays to find evidences of you all over. Even in your room, you had it just the way you liked it. Everything was so neat and cute, just like you. And you still etched your name wherever you could – we found that “I” carved in the bookcase. 

Oh, darling, I miss you so much! Yesterday was so hard. We pushed it off as much as we could…it’s hard to pack up your things for then…even though we know the truth…it means you’re really not coming home. 

That hurts, you know? It hurts so much to mama and me knowing our little girl isn’t coming home again. 

Yet, the Lord brought us through and now today is the Saturday between Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday. I’ve been thinking a lot about the original Saturday between those days. Can you imagine what the disciples felt in those hours on that dark day? They just saw Jesus – the one they had come to love, the one they followed and hung on His every word – they just saw Him die. They witnessed the atrocity of what He endured and then buried Him in the tomb. They thought things were to end differently…but, nevertheless, Jesus died and they were broken.

Think about what must have gone on in their minds that day? What happened? How did we get here? We loved Him so much, but now He’s just…gone? I thought life was going to be different…

Darling girl, some days in this “after” of our life without you can feel like that Saturday. We feel like we are living in that “in between” time. And sometimes we ask those same questions. How did this happen to us? How did we become “that” family? You were so much a part of our lives, our family, yet now you just simply aren’t here anymore. Our life, my life, has not ended up how I thought it could be. 

Yes, yesterday we felt a burden lifted from us. We are so thankful to the Lord for how He has helped and worked in our lives like yesterday when we moved your things out of your room. But, even after we did all of that, your mama and I felt a bit…shellshocked. A bit disoriented and numb. Today, we feel the same way. 

It’s Saturday.

Something cataclysmic happened the day you went home. Now, we wait in the “in between”. But…unlike those disciples two thousand years ago who were not quite sure what was coming, we know about our tomorrow. 

Sunday’s coming.

The resurrection from the dead. The day when we’ll meet our Lord face-to-face. The day when we’ll be gathered together again.

Until then, we wait in our Saturday. There’s a bit of both gloom and hope, to be honest. Gloom in our grief but hope in our waiting for Sunday. I’m not entirely sure what you experience these days, but it does seem like y’all are waiting, too, possibly (Rev 6:9-11). So, maybe there’s a bit of Saturday for us all; yet, Sunday’s coming.

Don’t worry, darling, my hope is in the Lord. Though my Saturday feels so long these days, He’s helping me to persevere. And, I’ll help your mama and brother and sister as much as I can to keep all of our eyes fixed on Him. 

I love you so much and miss you a ton…oh, how I miss you, my darling girl! The Lord has us, but we’ll keep waiting in our Saturday…

Till we are home…