Till We Are Home

There are some things so very fundamental to our lives that it seats and roots itself so deeply within us that we inevitably respond to it in good and bad ways. One thing that I feel shaped my identity for many, many years stems from growing up without a father. 

My parents divorced after only a few years together. I know nothing about growing up with a father, and this reality colored so much about my life: from the external realities of a single-parent home and all that comes with that, to the internal realities in my mind, heart, and spirit. My mom raised my brother and me with a love and care that was genuine and true, but nonetheless, my father’s absence in my life ingrained itself deeply within me.

It affected my identity for a long, long time.

I won’t get into all the details now…you and I don’t have that long together. But, suffice it to say that a boy without a father in his life will grow up feeling inadequate, less than, unloved, and challenged despite all the love he may get from his mother (which I did), father-figures (grandfather, uncles, etc.), and even the steadiness of a home and a family to care for a lot of our essential needs.

Not to belabor the impact of fatherlessness, but as a result of this experience in my life, I developed a love and an eagerness for story about identity, and anything that helps me see the bigger picture of redemption especially for areas like my identity. 

If you haven’t read the Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson, you truly must. It’s a wonderful story to read to your children and even yourself about a family fighting against great evil in their world all the while clinging closely to each other and the goodness of place. But one key aspect in the story is identity. The Wingfeather children, no spoilers here, fight to find their place in the world (as most children do), and the ensuing story and drama unfolds beautifully to help its readers remember fundamental truths, one of which is identity. 

But not just identity that comes from some life experiences like a child in a divorced home without a father in his life. No…but redemptive identity. An identity that is given to you in a redemptive way. 

Peter gets at this throughout his whole letter in 1 Peter. One key element in the book is the identity his audience has as sojourners and exiles. In verses 11-12 of chapter 2, Peter says the following, “Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.”

Peter wanted them to understand several things, but fundamentally to see that they do not belong to this world since they are sojourners and exiles, therefore they should act as people who belong to the Lord and act honorable and not as the rest of the world does according to the passions of their flesh. 

Peter’s audience, instead, should live their lives out of the fundamental truth of their identity. Their redeemed identity. 

Oh, how the chords of this song harmonize with the brokenness of this old man’s heart! The pain and sadness of a broken identity, broken from a world of sin, eases with the beautiful song sung over us all that the Lord is not done with us. My broken identity – caused by my own sin and by living in a sinful world – is redeemed by a new identity that I don’t belong here but have a heavenly Father to belong to. He gives me a new heart, a new name, a new identity. 

It’s a battle. Things belonging to the old self or old man can cling to us like a barnacle of the sea. We fight it, we lose battles to it, we give up at times. But there is a song whose notes draw us out of that pit, out of that darkness, out of those old places and salve wounds from those battles. 

I don’t think I’m the only one. I’m surely not the only one who has dealt with fatherlessness. But, also, I’m not the only one who has dealt with things of their past or the life they’ve lived that lies to you about your identity. What we all need is the truth that we are God’s imagebearers and there is a Man of Sorrows who has suffered in our place to bring us salvation and righteousness in Him. And in that salvation comes a new heart, a new life, a new identity to tell us that we truly don’t belong here…we belong with Him.

So while we walk this earth, while we engage in the battles against our old sins and new ones, as we fight against the pull of that old identity to drag us down, may we as Christians remember the truth that our God has given us a new identity, and that a new Home awaits us. And may we be gentle with each other and remind each other of that great hope each and every day…

Till we are home.