Till We Are Home

If ever there was a cartoon character best fit for me, it would be the 100 Aker Woods’ own Eeyore.

His voice fits my inner monologue. Many days, I am fine. I walk through my days doing my usual job or family activities, maybe doing some additional things like ministry in the church, writing, hanging with friends, etc. Typically, I am ok. But there are seasons where my inner Brandon feels a lot more like Eeyore…gloomy, unsure, unsteady, despairing. 

Oh, it’s easy to stay in my despair, in my Eeyore’ness. I can be quite good at convincing myself of all the reasons why no one appreciates me, no one understands me, there are others who could do what I’m doing way better. I’m just going to ruin it all, so I might as well quit and let those with better skills than me take over…I’ll just go back to my gloomy place (which is rather boggy and sad).

Now, I wouldn’t say that I always feel like Eeyore. By God’s grace, it’s only seasons. But, when I’m in those seasons of gloom, it feels like I’m truly in these periods a lot longer. Which, I guess, is a very Eeyore way of looking at it.

The other day, though, was one of those days, one of those experiences that helps cast a ray of light into the gloom. Our pastor is preaching through 2 Samuel, and he exposited chapter 19 recently, hitting on the first few verses where David laments the loss of his son Absalom. David’s grief over the loss of his son was inordinate for a variety of reasons, but my pastor pointed out that David needed Joab’s rebuke in that moment, he needed someone to awaken him out of his inordinate grief and tell him to “be strong and of good courage,” like the Lord did to Joshua (Joshua 1:9).

Be strong and of good courage.

There’s a time for lamenting, for grief, for sorrow. There’s a time to evaluate yourself against the activity you’re engaged in or the people you are up against. You may come up short, and that’s ok. Lament. Express sorrow for these things. But then remember to be strong and of good courage.

That ray of light came through following the sermon but, sadly, there still remains the up and down afterwards in this battle of mine. I try to keep reminding myself of the light of God’s Word to be strong and of good courage in Him, but it’s still a battle of ups and downs. This unsettledness reminded me again that I’m not home…when I’m home with Him, there won’t be ups and downs, there won’t be the sole rain cloud above my head, and my home won’t be gloomy, boggy, or sad.

So, until then, be strong and of good courage…for as many times as I need to.

Till we are home…